VLR Through the Ages

If history has taught us anything, it’s that you should never trust a man who say’s “Ergo”, but more importantly, it’s that rebellions are one of the best ways to force change. From the Whiskey Rebellion of 1794 to the Rebel Alliance of 2 BBY we are surrounded by both successful and disastrous uprisings.

VLR stood in the background as the voice in the ear of great military leaders until a much later date in history. To find the very beginning of Viva La Revolucion, you have to go back to the Battle of Marathon in Greece 490 B.C. Where the Athenian commander, Miltiades, was set to defend Greece from Persian King Darius and his 20,000 strong army. It was VLR who told him to set obstacles to prevent the cavalry from approaching and then was convinced to charge the attack rather than the conventional Greek phalanx attack, a slower paced attack. This proved to be more than successful, as the Greeks now possessed the valuable knowledge of bronze armour and the spear handed down from the VLR archives and thus annihilated Darius’ men. The Persians retreated leaving 6,400 dead behind them.

There are no names linked with the very beginnings of VLR but it was said that Aristotle was an honorary member, using VLR technologies and tactical knowledge to tutor Alexander the Great so VLR could force military change over the world. There are reports that it was VLR who assassinated Alexander’s father, Philip II of Macedon by the hand of Pausanias of Orestis, one of his 7 body guards, in order to force a dramatic change in the empire, fortunately Aristotle twisted the truth in order to maintain VLR’s hidden identity in history.

The workings of VLR went quiet for many years after the death of Alexander the Great. History is sketchy and there are reports that VLR had disbanded. It was not until 1554 that the name ‘VLR’ turned up again in the History books when they made a major change in History to force a change in the control of the sea’s.

Elizabeth I of England was imprisoned in the Tower of London by her half sister Mary on suspicion of supporting protestant rebels. Truth is, that it was VLR who she had been supporting.* Some VLR members believe it was she who had reformed the VLR rebellion but it’s very much a theory based on too little evidence.**

* There are no reports that VLR favour any of the worlds Religions other than Jedi *See VLR’s History of the Universe Journals

** See VLR’s A History of England Volumes LIII, LIV and LXX.

In 1559 it was the silver tongue of VLR who forced the coronation of Elizabeth I. Elizabeth, a scholar of VLR, made her name in History because of the tactical military knowledge possessed by VLR. In 1588 VLR took their chance to force Spain’s hand after they executed Mary Queen of Scots. Spain sent the “Invincible” Armada to invade England with an aim of a Catholic king to sit at the throne. The Armada included 130 ships of war, 8,000 sailors and 20,000 soldiers. VLR, through the medium of Elizabeth, sent out 180 much smaller ships to meet the Armada in the English Channel.

The fleet was commanded by several VLR members, Sir Martin Frobisher, Sir Francis Drake, Lord Howard of Effingham and Sir John Hawkins who gave the English the upper hand with their smaller, more agile ships. Soon the Spanish retreated to the north however due to weather conditions they lost even more ships, 51 in total with over 9,000 men where as the English only lost 100 men. The defeat of the Armada did not release control of the seas immediately but it paved the way for eventual English control.

Some say that the VLR intervention of this war was due to force a stop to piracy, others believe it was so they could open more trade routes but once Elizabeth died in 1603, VLR withdrew their hold over the British Empire when James I (James VI of Scotland) took control. James was an arrogant intellectual, someone not welcome in the VLR ranks.

Since that day VLR became a major influence in the Wars of the World jumping from one to the other, using them to force a change in the world.

Its also worth to note that most of the worlds technologies were invented by members of VLR or people with VLR funding. Some to note are…

• Penicillin
• The Light Bulb
• NASA
• The Reverse Cowgirl Position
• The Rhetorical Question
• War and Peace
• Solar Power
• We coined the term 'Delusions of Grandeur'
• Steam Locomotive
• Cornflakes
• Short Wave Radio
• Bacon Cheese Burgers
• AK47
• The Ninja Diffuse Technique
• Masturbation

VLR have never been easy to find and until recently the only way to contact them was through Morse code, previous communication methods included Smoke Signals, Carrier Pigeon and the Enigma Machine, before the Germans stole the idea. VLR are still around today and can be found at www.v-l-r.org where they have combined the smartest and most talented individuals on the Internet forming rebellions. May they continue to pass on their military prowess through the ages.

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